That’s the only conclusion I can come to after my recent experience, that Match.com have something against yoga.
It was a moment of weakness that led me to them. I’d just had enough of everyone going on about their new relationships, and how brilliant they were. It only underlined for me my very single status at the moment. It’s been a year now since my last relationship and, I’ll be honest, I’ve been feeling the loss. I like having a girlfriend, having someone to share things with and do things with, so late one night (ie: early in the morning) I decided to do something about it.
Everyone was meeting people through online dating, so I thought I’d give that a try. I’d done online dating before years ago, with mixed results, but the game has changed so much since then I wasn’t sure where to start (the site I used – Earth Wise Singles – no longer exists, for example).
I looked at Tinder, but it turns out you need a Facebook account for that. I’ve never had a Facebook account, and I wasn’t about to start one just for online dating, so Tinder was a non-starter for me.
I thought about going specific, like I’d done before, but all the yoga based dating sites I looked at threw up such a mish-mash of wishy-washy profiles – ‘Favourite Book: The Power Of Now!, Favourite Quote: Sieze The Day! – that I was instantly turned off by them.
Either that, or they were so totally inaccessible without registering first that I just moved on without wasting my time. I’m not going to register without first knowing what I’m getting myself into. My details are a commodity, and I’m not going to just hand them over without first seeing what I might get in exchange.
So that left me with the generic Big Boys. I looked at them all, but in the end I gave Match.com a go, on the strength of my neighbours recommendation.
Over the course of a couple of days I set up my profile. It took that long because trying to use the site from my mobile’s web browsers proved difficult. Quite a lack of functionality in fact. But anyway…
My problems really started when I tried to upload some photos. They were fine with the generic, smiley, big-face-head-on-to-camera ones, but when it came to my yoga poses they had some issues.
These were the offending photos I posted originally:
I liked them because not only do I think I look good in them, but because I reckoned the backgrounds made me look like a fun, interesting, well traveled, date-able prospect, lol. Match.com, however, disagreed.
I received the following e-mail (twice) from them:
I was a little frustrated, it seemed a little draconian, but I could see why they had rejected my photos; the first one because I’ve got me nips out, and the second one because you can’t see my face. But I really wanted a yoga pose as part of my profile, it was important to me, so I selected another photo to stick up there instead.
I thought this one would be fine. It ticked all my boxes – yoga, interesting, fun, well traveled – and it didn’t contravene any of their rules – no nudity, face on to camera, etc. – but no! Not good enough for Match.com apparently. This one was also rejected.
By now I was getting pretty frustrated with Match.com. I felt like I was having to jump through hoops to be allowed on their site. And that what I was allowed to put up there wasn’t really a fair approximation of who I am.
I was also shocked to discover that it costs £29:99 a month!, something they don’t mention until you’re deep into the process. Yes it’s cheaper per month if you subscribe for longer, but do you need a six month package? How good is their site if it takes six months to meet someone? And do you get your money back if you meet someone in month one?
It was all just too much for me. The aggro of setting up my account (there were a number of other frustrating issues), the cost, the innumerable e-mails they kept sending me that only served to underline my singleness, I’d just had enough. I deleted my profile.
I don’t blame Match.com. they’ve got a business to run. But I don’t think it’s the way for me right now. I was creating a profile from a negative starting point, and that’s no good. It wasn’t going to bring me what I wanted.
I still want to meet someone, but better maybe to get myself to a positive place and then find someone to share that with. I reckon I’ll have more success that way.
So for now I’m just going to work on myself, make Me happy, and hope that as I go through life someone comes along who likes what they see and wants to be a part of it.